|TO:||So that's it then, we're all agreed?
|PC:||Yep, looks like we're in the raincoat business.
|SO:||Phew, that was a lucky escape for us!
|PC:||What do you mean?
|SO:||Well we almost ended up having to look at porn all f***ing day.
Look what it's done to those zombies down at the OFLC. No way we want to
end up like that.
|TO:||But you've still got to deal with complaints, don't you?
|SO:||Yeah, but we won't need to look at the content now, we'll just tell the
filter suppliers to add it to their blacklist. Everyone knows these filters
block things they shouldn't, so who cares whether the content should be
blocked or not.
|PC:||But will the Minister buy it?
|TO:||He'll swallow whatever story I tell him.
|SO:||Puppy, are you going to be able to sell this to the public? It's a
pretty flimsy story in places. I think we're vulnerable.
|PC:||No prob. We've got the big end of town behind us so we command a lot
of respect. I've cooked up a pretty good plan. Want to hear it?
|PC:||OK, it goes like this. We'll publish the rules tomorrow, and if
both of you can put out statements at the same time we'll make them all
just a little bit different so that nobody will know what the hell it all
means. Then we've got the weekend coming up and Christmas the following
week. Most folk will be so busy with other things that they won't even
bother trying to figure it all out.
|TO:||I'm worried about the EFA.
|PC:||We all are. They're loose cannons and they're pretty unpredictable.
They don't seem to care what people think about them. They just say what
they think without holding back like normal people do. I'll send them an
E-mail telling them what a great victory we've all had compared with what
might have been. May work, may not. And we've got the Christmas factor
again. Even zealots have to take a break don't they?
|TO:||Some of them may, but they seem to be everywhere. Anyway we'll just
have to risk it. We've done the best we can with the timing.
|SO:||Can we go over the agreement again. I still find it confusing.
|TO:||It's meant to be confusing. If even we can't understand it, the
peasants, sorry I mean parents, have got no chance.
|PC:||OK, just to re-cap, what we've agreed is this. We'll announce that
we've cooked up a deal, but of course we won't say it like that, we'll say
the rules have been approved after long and difficult negotiations. That
will help explain why it took so long. We won't tell 'em we cooked this up
months ago and were just waiting for the silly season.
|SO:||But do we have to tell them everything?
|PC:||For chrissake no, we don't want the EFA on our backs. It will be
hard enough to shut them up as it is. All we'll say is that free
sunglasses will be provided with every Internet account from now, from a
list of thoroughly tested brands.
|TO:||What if someone finds out most of them don't stop UV?
|PC:||They won't find out. We don't really expect anybody to use them for
|SO:||That's the bit that keeps confusing me. Explain that part again
|PC:||Listen Nugget, you've gotta get with the program here. Obfuscation
is the name of the game. If any of it made sense, we'd never get away with
it. Confusion breeds respect. People will think it must be a very complex
and clever plan, and they won't want to look stupid by questioning the
|SO:||Yes, but how can we convince them the sunglasses are free.
Somebody's got to pay.
|PC:||That's the tricky bit. The users end up paying of course, but we'll
explain it by comparing it with other protective costs like insurance and
workers comp. If that doesn't work we'll just jack up the fees and blame
the GST or something.
| To tape #2