| SO: | Boy, I just can't believe how lucky we were coming up with this scam.
|
| PC: | How do you mean?
|
| SO: | Well we were originally supposed to deal with complaints from the
public and go through the whole stupid classification process. It would
have been a nightmare with only 5 extra staff, and the OFLC would be so
snowed under they would have to stop banning films and books.
|
| TO: | But what will you tell people who think they can still lodge complaints?
|
| SO: | What did you tell the Minister?
|
| TO: | I said our scheme was a lot better than his. Our way will keep
millions of dirty pictures out of people's view, instead of a few dozen a
week if you guys had to look at them all. We've all done the maths. It
just never added up.
|
| PC: | Did he see any problems with that?
|
| TO: | Nah, he thought it was wonderful. Gave me a bonus for thinking of
it. The only concern he had was that some people might object that this
wasn't ever the intent of the law.
|
| SO: | Yes, that's where we're vulnerable.
|
| PC: | Not if we play it right. With the correct sunglasses most people
won't even know what they not being allowed to see.
|
| TO: | You didn't let me finish. I told the Minister that it was still
within the law.
|
| PC: | Really? How so?
|
| TO: | Well the law allows the code as an alternative. And the code can
contain whatever we decide is a Good Thing (TM).
|
| PC: | Great. That should stop any legal challenges.
|
| TO: | It's just beautiful. The Minister couldn't contain himself. He
called up Harradine and they both went up on the grassy knoll on the roof
and danced barefoot with clapping sticks.
|
| SO: | Well that explanation might stop some of the complaints from the
do-gooders, but we've come up with a secondary strategy too.
|
| PC: | What's that?
|
| SO: | We ask them if they were wearing their sunglasses when they saw the
dirty pictures. If they say no, we've nailed 'em. If they say yes, we
just tell them they'll have to upgrade to stronger glasses. Either way
we're in the clear and Puppy's members might even make another sale.
|
| PC: | You'd better be careful. You might lose those 5 staff if they've got
nothing to do.
|
| SO: | No way. It's all part of a grand plan. Tell him Doc.
|
| TO: | Well this is top secret. Nugget and I will both be out of a job if
this ever gets out, but the long term plan is to shut down most of the
websites and just allow the government and responsible companies to have
web publishing licences, only it won't be called the Internet any more, it
will be called datacasting. There'll only be about 200 licenses all up,
and the government will control most of 'em.
|
| PC: | What about all the private individuals who have web pages?
|
| TO: | Stuff them. Whoever dreamed up the idea of letting just anybody
broadcast whetever they want without a license was out of their brain. It
took the government a while to wake up it was getting out of hand but we're
getting it under control now. First we get rid of the porn sites, then the
mug punters will get shut down.
|
| PC: | You think ordinary individuals are a threat?
|
| TO: | Is the Minister Catholic? They're a threat alright. We can't
regulate what ordinary people say the way we can with John Laws. The ABA
has to regain some strong-arm powers. If people are allowed to speak
without the threat of being shut down if they step out of line, you've got
anarchy. People need to be able to sleep safely in their beds at night
knowing that a few good men are in control.
|
| PC: | Jeez, I hope EFA never finds out about this.
|
| TO: | They're one of the reasons we have to do this. Just look at the way
they were able to criticize the Minister all over the world and we couldn't
do a thing about it. We can't have that. The government has to be able to
keep control of the media spin, and we can only do that with licensing.
|
| PC: | Yes they made me look pretty stupid in Munich too. I went over there
with Nugget's people thinking we'd have the floor to put our own spin on
the Oz scene, but we weren't able to get away with it. It's just so
unpatriotic when people criticise their own government overseas, even if
it's justified. They should have the decency to shut up and only make
their protests at home.
|
| TO: | You're so right. Democracy is fine and good but it has to be kept
under control.
|
| PC: | Speaking of media spin, have you figured out what do about that media
release the Minister sent out? You know, the one that said there would
never be indiscriminate filtering?
|
| TO: | Oh easy, we'll just pull it from the website. Never happened.
That's one of the beautiful things about the Internet.
|
| PC: | It's a wonderful invention all right. We just have to make sure it's
properly controlled. That's why our scheme is so good. There's a lot of
dangerous ideas out there but as long as people keep their sunglasses on
they'll be protected, especially the children.
|
| SO: | What happens if they take their sunglasses off, Puppy?
|
| PC: | They'll go blind.
|